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SOMEONE LIKE YOU

Directed by Tony Goldwyn (2001, 20th Century Fox)
Starring Ashley Judd, Greg Kinear, and Marisa Tomei

After being dumped from what she thought was a stellar relationship, a young woman develops a theory about why men won't commit.

 

 

1 star+

September 29th, 2001 on Video  
    Nothing happened here. Absolutely nothing. I kept waiting for something to happen, but it never did. Was I expecting too much? Apparently. A waste... a complete waste.

Ashley Judd is cute. Marisa Tomei is also cute -I didn't even recognize her. But that's all that was enjoyable about the whole movie. This was one of those shows where the girl pines away after a guy, and when he breaks her heart, she goes on a rampage against all men. And, of course, the man she is destined to be with is the one she starts out hating at the beginning of the film. Don't worry -that's not a spoiler; you can figure that out the moment they start shouting at each other.

The relationship seems to be going so well. Ray leaves his girlfriend of three years to be with Jane. They get really serious really quickly, and even start looking at apartments to share. But then Ray gets cold feet (I did too, but that was when the agent said "you can see all the way to the World Trade Center -is that ever going to leave me without a haunted feeling?), and Jane breaks up with him. He just sits there with a stupid half-smile on his face. He obviously doesn't want to break up, but he doesn't know what he wants. 

Neither does the movie. Jane moves in with Eddie, the office pervert, because her apartment was already rented after she decided to move in with Ray. I thought there would be some cool sexual tension there, but even when Ray finds out about this arrangement, he meekly smiles, speechless. 

Jane watches as a different woman enters Eddie's bedroom every week (or every other day?), until she meets up with Ray again at an office party, and they agree to do New Year's Eve together. But he never shows; in fact, he's hooked up with his ex-girlfriend, who just happens to be Jane's boss! Hmmm. 

Meanwhile, Jane has developed a theory about men, comparing them to cows. A bull, according to the "facts" provided in this movie, will not mate with a cow he has already "had", even if she is in disguise. Men, she reasons, are the same way. This was the only funny part in the whole movie, which is supposed to be a comedy. 

Anyway, she gets national acclaim, though she is writing as somebody else. She agrees to be that person in a telephone interview on her boss' talk show, but changes her mind and walks onto the stage, telling everybody in the audience that she was wrong. She chases down Eddie, because he felt betrayed by her not telling him earlier, and they fall into a big smooch with a cow poster at the end. 

She fell for Eddie without knowing it after he consoled her about Ray standing her up on New Year's. Yeah. So she has gone from one shallow relationship to another, and we are supposed to feel satisfied? I don't think so. 

And what made her change her mind? Her brother-in-law. He and her sister have been trying to get pregnant by all methods available, and when she does, she loses the young fetus. At the hospital, in the only moving part of the whole story, the brother-in-law smiles at his wife, completely disheveled and sobbing, and declares her beautiful. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why this subplot was in the film. Joanne figured it out before me -that here was an example of a man who was not after a new woman; he loved his wife for who she was. Awww...

The characters were not developed at all, and I have nothing to say about them. The movie was filled with musical interludes where nothing was really done, and they were quite boring. There was a sense that something was about to happen soon, but that sense was still there as the end credits rolled. What happened? 
 
   

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